Tag: Faith

The Pendulum

For many months, I listened by swinging. A weight on a chain, a movement like breath, a yes, a no, a maybe — signals from the beyond, confirmations of gut instinct, ripples of meaning on the surface of time. The pendulum became my tuning fork, the way God or Source spoke to me when I couldn’t yet trust myself to hear clearly. I gave it a voice. And it gave me back my own.

But this evening, my gut spoke first.
And it said: “It’s time.”

The angel numbers that followed agreed. “You’ve been shown enough. You’ve been taught how to ask, how to listen, how to align,” they said. “Now walk.”

The pendulum was never the source. It was the teacher, the tool, the transitional object. A device akin to Jameson’s “vanishing mediator.” It showed me how to externalize the inner knowing, to feel my body echo with truth. And now I’m being called to release it.

In the midst of uncertainty — dire finances, mounting pressure, shifting ground — but also daily blessings and evidence of a divine plan, I’m being asked to let go. To trust that faith will carry me further than fear ever could.

The pendulum brought me to this threshold.
But this step must be mine.

I place it down with reverence, not rejection.
A sacrament complete.

Saturday June 13, 2020

Earthseed, the religion founded by Lauren Oya Olamina, the heroine who narrates Octavia E. Butler’s novel Parable of the Sower, resembles other faiths (including the Baptism of Butler’s upbringing) in its evangelical cast. Lauren spreads the word and seeks converts, her church being a kind of mutual aid society. Together, she and her followers form a traveling, changing community — a “team” or “tribe” of sorts, decisions made organically based on the group’s capacity to survive amid thieves, murderers, cannibals, junkies, wild dogs, and arsonists. Lauren’s view of the world is paranoid, but it’s a paranoia borne out by lived events of trauma. She “experiences” and “shares” the pain of others due to what she calls “hyperempathy syndrome.” She has an ability that makes her vulnerable, and thus cautious of who she can trust. We needn’t think of this as mere delusion. The reactions to bodily harm sometimes manifest physically, another’s pain sometimes drawing blood. However we view this aspect of Lauren’s experience, it leads her to seek followers. She wants others to believe her, offering in exchange a path toward survival.